pufferfishh: (The Marauders Map)
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Title: A Very Marauder Wedding (obviously. I mean what)
Fandom: Harry Potter / Marauders
Summary: In which Sirius is dumped, Lily won't give James the time of day, Peter pokes fun and Remus is a housewife.

Er, so, this is really silly. Incredibly silly. And Peter is the best. Just so everyone knows.

Sirius heaved a great sigh as he collapsed on the couch next to Remus. The other steadily ignored his friend, whose sighs grew louder and more dramatic the longer he was ignored. Peter, who sat on the chair, gave Remus an exasperated look. Remus raised an eyebrow at Peter who began to mouth words to the werewolf. The words were mostly swears and pleas to simply just acknowledge Sirius.

Sirius let out a loud drawl and covered his face with his arm as he stage whispered, "Oh, woe is me!" Oh yes, any longer and the man would be unbearable.

"Oh, poor sweet Padfoot," Remus deadpanned, "what has made such a god amoung men upset?"

Sirius peaked out from under his elbow, fighting off a grin, "It was horrible, absolutely dreadful. I've never felt so used."

"Ah, so the great Sirius Black is back on the market?" Sirius nodded and let out a dramatic moan.

At that moment, James wandered in. He crashed almost all the way on top of Sirius, who fell into Remus. The werewolf gave Peter a sad look and the stout boy shrugged,

"So much for a nice, quiet read, eh Moony?"

"Ahaha," Remus sniffed as a grin stretched across his face, "You look upset, James. Oh, let me guess -"

"Evans HATES me," James drawled. The other marauders glanced at each other and nodded saying, "Lily."

"What did she do this time?" Sirius mused, "Ignore you? Call you a prat? Beat you in a good looks contest?"

"Says he who was dumped." Peter snorted. James blinked at Sirius for a moment, mouth hanging open, before he threw his head back and howled in laughter.

"That's it!" Sirius proclaimed, pushing a pillow into his best friends face as he sat up, "I give up. I'll never find a woman as good to me as Remus." Remus and Peter choked while James simply laughed harder, taking his glasses off to wipe at his eyes.

"It's true," he wheezed, "Remus is like a wife!"

"He gives me food, does all the paperwork..." Sirius tapped at his chin thoughtfully. Beside him, Remus had hid his face in his hands while his shoulder shook from laughter.

"He makes sure you look presentable for the day," James added gleefully.

"He cleans all the messes," Peter joined in, grinning wide.

"Oh god, just stop." Remus moaned.

"Sorry Moony, you're my wife now." Sirius grinned, patting his friends cheek.

"I am a housewife, aren't I? Can't get a job 'cause of the ...furry problem." The marauders all howled in laughter at that particular realization.

-


It had been a long day for Lily. She was past the point of exhaustion, and simply wanted to do nothing more then to fall onto her bed and sleep forever. Or, at least, until the school year had ended.

She spoke the password through a yawn and just stopped, mid stride and mid yawn as she entered the common room.

James stood, with his back to the fire place, a textbook open in his hands. In front of him stood Remus an Sirius, holding hands as they stared at each other. Peter sat on the couch, dabbing at his eyes as if he was crying.

"What..." Lily couldn't stop the word from falling from her mouth. All four heads turned to her at the same time, and they all stared blankly at her.

"Please, Miss Evans," Sirius said solemnly, "I would like to get back to marrying my wife." The four dissolved into giggles before continuing with their 'ceremony.' James slammed his book shut and yelled "IT IS DONE!" Lily shook her head as Sirius grabbed Remus's face and made kissing noises and puckered his lips.

Really, she thought, I will never understand those boys.

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August 2012

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